Action
You know I always imagined I would do right by "me", my dreams. That I am smart and I can do anything that I put my mind to. But I have been waiting too long for my mind to "feel" right, to take action.
The time is now, my mind will never feel right, it gets sad/mad/etc. on such trivial things. I get fixated on these feelings, thus giving more power to them. I don't know where the decades have gone as I have waited for the right moment to pursue my dreams. My dreams quantify over time and my passion for the dreams when the dream was originally born slowly deteriorates with the lack of action. In my experience, you will be the most passionate about something when the idea first comes to you, act on that fire right away. Let it find from in this world. You were made to be its outlet. Let the thoughts of doubt go don't give doubts the power of time by reacting to them.
I have known what to do for a very long time but chose not to because it was easy not to. It has been easy to let life happen to me and not live life. There are more distractions today than ever. Yet I know how to work my way around them. I say "I don't have time." → Cut out the things that take the most time in your day, your addictions. For me, they are social media, TV, games, and things that help me pass the time so I don't have to be alone in my thoughts (a partner).
Having a boyfriend this past year has changed me quite a bit, good and bad. I have grown in confidence and I think less about what others will think of my every action. I have grown numb to living. I just think of my next interaction with him while we are apart so that I don't have to spend time alone with my thoughts. To have the time alone to reflect how far gone I am from where I want to be. To realize how lost I feel, that I don't even recognize the me I am now compared to the me I was before him. It has all been for the better though, this relationship has taught me more about me, it has made me realise losing myself and disappointing myself, are the worst things I can do in life.
That I need to say no more. Sure that yes energy is beautiful and it helped me murder my past shy self. But no's will keep me sane and give focus to my priorities. I need to think twice before saying yes to my time being given away. I will always say yes to some spontaneous adventures because it makes my soul feel alive, but not when I know deep down I am saying yes to running away from my priorities, I have to do hard things, and not procrastinate.
Live by the recipe for growth:
- What you react to, you give power to.
- If someone wanted to they really would.
I vow to say no to my addictions to make time for my dreams and live to seek growth in every moment
Find & follow your IKIGAI.
What do I love?
- Singing, writing, YouTube, nature, talking, Earth/sustainability, minimalism, veganism, permaculture, designing my environment, dancing, learning new things, growth
What am I good at?
- Writing, talking, singing, seeking discomfort/change/growth
What does the world need from me?
- To see whatever art I create, and learn from my life's lessons
What can I get paid for?
- Environmental Studies degree - backup to fund my artistic endeavours
- Eventually YouTube - funds my world travels
- Restaurant from worldly experiences
- Writing books
- Online income
- Creating a project - sustainable, vegan
- Blogging